Blog del Pollo

I went to see this film because the previous two ones felt fine to me, because of the "outing" by the former director (which will be mentioned later) and of course, because Statham is hot.

Basically the plot is quite simple. An evil company wants to dump poisonous waste in Ukraine, but the head of Ukrainian EPA does not permit the act. So the company hires someone named Johnson to abduct his daughter Valentina (the leading actress). This Johnson then forced Frank Martin the transporter to deliver her from France to Ukraine. To avoid them from escaping, both Frank and Valentina are forced to put on a metal bracelet which will explode if they are too far away from the car.
En route to their destination, they encounter various obstacles because Johnson is so indecisive, wondering if he should've found someone else to deliver the "parcel." To go on, Frank fights the gang by stripping, using his suit to smash them. When one of Johnson's subordinates tries to steal the car, Frank chases after him on a bike and recaptures his Audi.
On the other hand, after seeing Frank's strip show earlier, Valentina stoles the car key, asking Frank to do that again for her in exchange of the key. Frank has no choice but to do what she says, and they have sex, fortunately this scene isn't shown.
Finally they arrive in Ukraine, where Johnson and other bad guys are waiting. Johnson has Valentina and asks the gang to kill Frank, of course he manages to survive, it doesn't matter how he does that.
Johnson takes off Valentina's explosive bracelet and takes her onto a train to avoid being tracked. Frank drives his car onto. . .and into the train, fights back the gang and Johnson. Then he stoles the key for the bracelet from Johnson, taking it off and puts it onto Johnson's wrist. Frank let his car slip out of the train, Johnson's bracelet turns orange and flickers, and. . . blast! Justice wins again.
On knowing her daughter's safety, the head of EPA splits the contract his just signs, which would've allowed toxic waste into his country.
Frank goes fishing with his friend Inspector Tarconi (the french old man who appears in all the three films), along with Valentina, and they all live happily ever after, the end. What the @#$% is that??

Okay. . .

What I like:

Stripping while fighting - unreasonable yet sexy

Bike vs. Audi race - quite a show, although the mere point of it is to showcase the stunts, and it's unlikely to happen in real life unless you're a GM superhuman and have got a built-in GPS in your head.

What I hate:
The leading actress,a freckled red-head with Avril Lavigne's eyeliner - could I beseech you to puh-lease at least put on some foundation??

Did you notice the italic words above? 1) the seduction scene - why doesn't Frank just put her into a coma and recapture the key, since he's able to defeat so many enemies? 2) Arrival in Ukraine - What. The. Hell??? So you mean after so many efforts, Johnson could've deliverd the parcel himself? So what's the purpose of calling and threatening the Transporter? To risk losing track of Miss Red and being fought back by Frank?

FYI, not long before the film's release, Louis Leterrier, the director of Transporter and Transporter 2, told the media the Frank Martin is supposed to be gay and this sequel has totally ruined the setting.
Okay I'm fine with this. . . new discovery, but Frank sleeps with Shu Qi in Transporter, doesn't he?


Anyway, in conclusion, when you see the words read Luc Besson, nothing is impossible, or rather, nothing is sensible.